The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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