Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize