Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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