what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
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I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
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I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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