The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize