butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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