so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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