You really coming over, don't trick.
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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