You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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