May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize