The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
is it fun? or sober?
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