She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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