i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
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he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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