I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize