Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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