I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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