Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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