Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize