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I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
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