I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize