I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize