yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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