You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
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I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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