She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
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Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
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And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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