Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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