You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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