I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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