my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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