You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize