my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
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It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
A bitchslap is in order.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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