went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
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