i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize