I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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