I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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