Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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