She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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