The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
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But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
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She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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