if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize