you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize