And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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