Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
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The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
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As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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