I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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