she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
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There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize