R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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