I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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