"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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