dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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