My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize