Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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