hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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